Upon my last endeavor blogging I found that I was not fully writing for myself, but rather for an audience, and this ended up troubling me to the point where the blog had to end and some serious time had to be spent nourishing, feeding and loving my own words for myself, to myself, simply because I wanted to write them. Also, a dedication of solitude and independence was attempted with the hopes of feeling more self-fulfilled.
To an extent, I was successful. I did a good amount of soul searching, self analysis, and working through changes and struggles.
What kept me blogging for so long, and what has me coming back is the forum and style that blogging takes. I realized that blogging is a great way to have a one sided conversation, and sometimes I just need this much time and this much space to speak my thoughts without any interruptions. Indeed, I have an audience. Audiences work for me, though! So long as I remember that the words I write really do serve the purpose of articulating how I feel... not just sufficing an audience's needs; because that's simply not my intention. I have a lot to say... and not just things to say to myself. (although they can still be for myself). I have a lot to say that I'd love for other people to hear. Or read, or at least have the chance to understand.
So I welcome myself back to the world of blogging. And I welcome back any and all readers.
I am not living with the goal of complete independence, for that would leave out all of the opportunities and beauties that couple great connections and love. And surely, those are not things I plan on or wish to leave out.
My writings may be more sparse than the last time, in that I'll be more mature about what I share and what I keep for myself. I ask that your comments share that same maturity.
Here's to a new beginning.
Monday, February 06, 2006
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