On the front gate of a perfect southern house in the grand but humble Magazine, New Orleans.
I sat on the McKeldon Mall for hours today letting the sun attach to my skin. I was so enamored by Liz Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" (pictured below) as it spoke directly to my soul, that I didn't even bother lathering the SPF 8 "sunscreen" I packed. I just read. The bell chimed at 1pm, then again at 2, 3 and eventually 4 in the afternoon. I was in book reading heaven. Ironically reading about what one could call heavenly experiences. And to top it all off, when the grass itching sensation pushed me to the limit, I got up, walked over to the reflection fountain, and plopped myself down where my feet could dangle in the water and the sun could kiss me with her warm calming presence.
So now, filled to the brim with Gilbert's inspiring memoirs (and some crispy skin), I have nothing left to do but spill. This passage is long, but spoke to me in so many ways. Perhaps you, too, will discover some piece of this passage whispering truth in your ear. Enjoy...
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"Please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed he was my soul mate."
"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is you just can't let this one go...You can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby--you're just lickin' at an empty can trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."
"But I love him."
"So love him."
"But I miss him."
"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot--a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."
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I feel so overwhelmed with emotion thinking about Gilbert's (or rather, the guy from Texas who's talking's) "working definition" of what a soul mate really is. I want to cry, laugh, smile, hug, kiss, jump with joy, and sit in a still moment of gratitude and awe. In my life there have been a beautiful handful of people who have helped show me layers of myself I was not yet able to recognize (romantically and platonically). I mean, people who really dug into me, and with me, and through me to help me see myself and my potential. Some of these people still remain close to me, continuing this process. Some have found new soul mates who've steered them away from me. Others have become people I have an annual hour-long phone conversation with, and if we're lucky, a nice lunch date. But regardless of current rapport, all of these people will always be close to my soul because they have helped it glow and illuminate and blossom. For this, I am forever grateful.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this idea below.
With love and freedom <3
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